Frankly Speaking Inc.

Question:

“Can this passion, this lust this love last? Can it sustain itself after we’ve been together for 6 months, 6 years or 36 years?” .

Lou Answers

My response is an absolute yes if your reason and commitment to being together is solid in the first place. In my ten years of speaking with couples worldwide the reason most people’s lust and love relationships don’t last is because they choose based on a calendar rather than their hearts. In other words they choose a relationship/marriage partner based on it being the right TIME to be in a relationship/marriage have children not because it is the right PERSON in their heart and then when a relationship undergoes its natural growth and changes they don’t know who the person is.

The couples who have the lust and passion continue pay attention to it. It is a priority. Know that you and you alone are responsible for maintaining your part of the connection /love/lust. No one can sustain the white hot heat of first passion and quite frankly thank goodness or we’d get nothing done, yet like all ‘living’ things of a relationship it requires support and attention. One of the first places a couple’s lust relationship will show it is coming apart is in the bedroom. Despite their supposedly hardy natures lust, sexual desire, intimacy and love are delicate little flowers and need careful tending. The following are some of the behaviors of couples who have kept it hot and ongoing while in long term monogamous relationships.

• These couples genuinely like one another and they have a commitment to their relationship. And one of their most important behaviors to one another that nurtures their love and passion is respect.

• Respecting and trusting one another are the two most common things these couples say keep them together. “As hokey as it sounds the two things that make this work for us is that we respect and trust one another.”

• Because they respect one another there are certain things that erode passion and lust they simply will not do. I have heard entirely too many people try to use the “But I really do love them” statement to excuse downright rotten behavior. These people do not.

• Great Lovers are couples who know there is a difference between falling-in-love sex and being-
in- love sex, and that one doesn’t take away from the other.

• They know passion and lust are synergistic and cyclical. They know they fall in love on a regular basis.

• They take responsibility for their passion, they don’t expect it to happen by itself they make it happen, regularly.

• They make one another laugh.

• Make your words and actions match up, if you say you are going to do something DO it.

• Know that what you do and say at 8AM absolutely impacts what happens at 10PM.

• Remember if you found them attractive and hot so will someone else and if you aren’t paying
attention to them that someone else might.

Treat your partner as you did when you were first dating, they are still that special.
You may want to follow the example of the following gentleman. When asked during a radio interview what kept his 50+ year marriage passionate a 72 year old man responded, “ When I start thinking the grass looks greener some where else I start watering my lawn.”

Warmly,

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