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Question: |
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My
new boyfriend still has all these pictures of his old girlfriend
on the walls and constantly tells me 'how she never did x,y,z'
that are things I do. Aside from this he is a really sweet
guy but I feel am getting mixed messages from him and that
I have all the problems
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Lou Answers
For the majority of people female or male the last thing they
want to be reminded of constantly is who was there before
us. Believe me this isn't a head in the sand attitude rather
the practical how can you expect someone to be with you when
their heart and memories are stuck in the past….and
on the wall. The pictures may be symbolic of something he's
not saying. Were we face to face I would ask a number of questions.
Could it be that he likes the way he felt and hence looked
with her? Who broke up with whom? Does he want that type of
relationship again? If someone keeps referring to an old flame
there is a reason. In essence they are tripping up the potential
of their future relationships over their past relationships.
But I am also hearing he
isn't being up front about what he feels isn't in your relationship.
And he may not be clear in his mind but his actions seem
to suggest he keeps identifying your behaviors as the problem.
Does he not take any responsibility for problems being about
him? Are the comments always about the same issues or does
he move the target and you never know what may be next?
His referring to the pictures are the springboard for the
two of you to talk about other things including you asking
him if he is still in love with her. And remember actions
speak louder than words. Good luck.
Warmly,
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