I learned about the loss of a loved one when my mother died very suddenly in 1979. Until then I thought I had an idea of how I would feel. I didn't have a clue. Add to it that my mother and I were never close and the impact was even more convoluted. What I did get however, as a result of her death, was that I no longer feared death and that lack of fear in turn was instrumental in my doing what I do now, starting with being in the first class for volunteers on the AIDS ward at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles in 1990. At that time the majority of people weren't aware of how you contracted the HIV virus and those who were infected were treated as social pariahs. Add to this when Don V. who was my hairdresser (and any woman knows how important a great hairdresser is) contracted HIV and was dying - I watched a man who had been one of the more sought-after social butterflies of my peer group become shunned and ostracized. He was also Bryan's (Ode to Bryan) former partner. I wasn't any brighter, didn't know a lot more - I just wasn't scared. AIDS had already hurt my heart and quite simply I could do it.

Pain and fear were gateways for me to grow. And without any plan or awareness to do so, they put me on a path that would result in me helping many others. My concern about women's safety sexually led to "The Italian Method" and that came out of seeing women patients on the AIDS ward who could have been me or my friends. And that led to more people wanting the information I had gathered and that turned into the first seminars.

For all of you I wish you the awareness of what truly touches your heart, how you can do something about it and ways to keep that vision clear. As we face tomorrow and its whatevers, I take comfort in Dr. Brian Weiss' message, that love is infinite and crosses existences to be there again.

I will have the Field Reseacher's completed feedback on Tongue Joys etc. for the November musings.

Be safe