Although it was never spoken we were raised with a "go-and-do-what-you-can" volunteering attitude. Now with my time constraints I find I give more practically and creatively. First thing I realized was my giving need not be to a specific organization or group, although that too is fine, and it need not be simply money or a purchase at a silent auction, although those too are fine. For many they want to do something yet have financial concerns. A well traveled friend who also doesn't have time to "do" but still wants to suggested I follow her example of collecting all the soaps, shampoos and items that are supplied to hotel guests. Then when you have collected enough (in her case a shopping bag full) donate them to your group of choice. I recently chose the Ocean Park Community Center.

You may consider doing what I just did, look around you and see what you aren't using be it household items or clothes or equipment. Chances are some one would love to take your "clutter" off your hands. I recently donated 2 computer systems to a group and when I return from New Jersey (I'm writing this enroute) I will do my annual closet purge. This year I will be giving the clothing to the 33 year.old European cousin of my friend. Lucky her - she is my size.

I so look forward to spending time with my family and relaxing. I wish for you and your families the happiest
of holidays and an outstanding 2002. And in the spirit of creating I am now working on book

Warmly,
Lou

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Question:

Hi Lou,
Many years ago as a teen I used to ejaculate (I'm female) and BIG time!!! I am now 30 but for years now I have never ever once ejaculated again! I am thinking this is something psychological. As far as I know I don't and never had G-Spot orgasm, I think it was clitoral. I would really love to get it back!!! Any suggestions?

Thank you,
" No Longer ejaculating"
M

Lou's Answer:

Dear M:

Given that you already have the capacity to ejaculate it is most likely you still can given the right style and intensity of stimulation. Translation you have already established the nerve response pathway that your body recognizes for ejaculation. When you were younger was it one particular thing that you or your partner did that created it? Only you know what you or he did and I am sure you have tried to repeat that. Some women have said they have been able to do so while concentrating on bearing down during orgasm.

If the reason you are asking is because of the enjoyment factor, outstanding, if however the reason you are asking is because of the pressure to "perform" I might suggest focusing elsewhere. Unfortunately often people feel they have to "do" what they see in adult videos which invariably has a very set script.

Some women have it happen regularly, others occasionally and still for others never. Also as you know from your own experience, female ejaculation is not necessarily associated with G-spot stimulation. It can occur as a result of oral stimulation, manual and for some even during kissing. I consulted Dr. Beverly Whipple as my source on this as she is one of the foremost research authorities worldwide on female sexuality, ejaculation, and orgasm.

When I was in Paris this summer presenting at the World Congress of Sexology I was able to hear the presentation of Dr. Francisco Santa Maria Cabello. He is one of the top researchers on female ejaculation and according to his research approximately 70% of women ejaculate regularly however because the amount is often so small it is not noticed. And due to the presence of PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) in female ejaculate in the studies where they had masturbated, hence no male body fluid was present, Cabello refers to the paraurethral glands as the female prostate.

You may have hit on the reason it isn't happening now if someone said anything negative to you in reference to this most natural response. Some women have thought they were urinating and some men have accused women of "peeing" on them. Both of which have caused many women to stop or interrupt the sensations that lead to ejaculation. First this isn"t urine it is fluid from the paraurethral (para meaning side of) glands which internally surround a woman's urethra. People who have tasted it say it has a unique taste ranging from buttery to sweet.