First may I ask why you are embarrassed? It is his penis not your vagina that is doing the majority of the moving so he has more responsibility to maintain contact. Also please know this is a very common occurrence especially during rigorous sex. Before I go further were we together I'd ask you, did you have a partner say you were too loose or large? That may well have been in relation to his penis size and not have been an accurate comment. Did you read somewhere that if you weren't tight enough he would fall out? Not necessarily so that is a matter of positioning and motion. You can test your vaginal tightness quickly and privately with two of your freshly washed fingers, no need to introduce unfriendly bacteria into oneself. Insert them gently and tighten your PC (pubococcygeus )muscle, the one that you contract to stop the flow of urine, around them, if you feel a tightness like a pencil line on the sides of your fingers your PC muscle may need some exercise. If it feels like a broad elastic band you may be in fine pelvic shape and may just need regular flexing, use a minute of 5 second contractions morning and night or use a daily occurrence as the prompt such as at any stop lights.

The tightness factor of a woman is about the toned nature of the PC muscle that controls the tightness of the first inch and a half of the entry into the vagina. Any woman who has ever used a tampon knows when she isn't sexually stimulated the tampon needs to be guided in, the unstimulated vagina has a space potential like that of a glove yet once a woman is stimulated the vagina swells and lifts up into the woman.s lower pelvis to accommodate the penis. This is Mother Nature preparing for sex. For many women there is a distinct difference in tightness post a vaginal delivery especially if there was long protracted pushing, the pelvic ligaments get stretched and unlike a muscle they do not contract back.

For any of these positions the simplest solution is to reduce the length of the thrust regardless of position. In the Woman On Top you are much more in control and the internal "poke" factor of an up and down motion tends not to be the most satisfying rather a rocking with the clitoral area being pressured against the partner.s pubic area. In the rear entry position the responsibility to remain inside is his so he needs to adjust his motion as I will answer below there isn't a lot you can do to adjust as you have little to no body motion. The same answer for man on top as the partner on top controls the majority of the motion, the staying inside you is his responsibility.

Having said all of this may I remind you this is very common and often a source of fun and amusement for couples, laughing and fumbling to get back into action.

Question:

2. When we have sex in the doggie-style position it is hard for me to move or do anything but hold the position. I feel like he is doing all the work. Do you have any ideas for moves while in this position besides holding the pose?

Lou's Answer:

He is doing all the work and likely he is getting a lot of reward from it, watching himself thrust in and out, the heightened smell of sex, the sound of his thighs slapping against your buttocks, and the more animal nature of it, the "taking you from behind" factor. In order for rear entry to be successful one partner has to remain as stable as possible in this case you. Should you want to increase your enjoyment consider holding onto a head board using one arm and using a vibe or your fingers clitorally on yourself. Some women who have delivered vaginally find this is one of their most pleasurable positions as the more flexible vaginal vault post delivery allows the head of his penis to stroke firmly over the G spot area.

Question:

3. On oral sex: I really enjoy performing oral sex on my man as long as he climaxes within ten to fifteen minutes. Any longer that that and I get tired! What are some nifty tricks that will bring him straight to orgasm during oral sex?

Lou's Answer:

Trust me you are not alone in your mouth and neck and back getting tired. One reason it may be taking so long is you are with a man who masturbates VERY firmly and you are not mimicking the sensation his nerves have gotten used to.
TIP: To ensure full sensation build up do not stop 2/3 of the way through and start flicking the top of his penis with your tongue because your mouth is tired. Male sexual response is like that of a steep mountain slope and as such once you get to very firm levels of sensation and pressure, close to the to p of the slope, you must maintain them or the sexual buildup rolls back down the slope and you have to build it back up again. The SOLUTION is to use your hand and mouth in concert, keep them attached together like you are blowing a large horn, imagine there are ball bearings on your lips.

There are 4 motions involved:

An up and down motion on the shaft with your mouth and attached hand. Your attached hand extends the area you can stimulate from 3 inches to 6 and acts as a safety ring so he cannot thrust into your mouth and have you gag unexpectedly AND your hand creates the pressure so your lips wrapped over your teeth do not have to so. This saves on the inside of your lips, your jaw as your hand creates the pressure and your throat as you do not have go down so deeply.
Your hand is rotating up and down the shaft in a loose figure 8 motion. These two motions together along with the constant back and forth motion of your tongue on the back of the glans (head of the penis) will create intense sensations for him. Your free hand is stroking any close by skin to build sensation around the groin area. Consider fingertip sensations as fingernails can be tickly.

Question:

4. Also, is there any way to avoid deep throating and still give a satisfying blow job?
Thanks! I really appreciate your help!

Lou's Answer:

Deep throating is mainly a male preoccupation from adult material. Hence that is why many men ask for it, probably only 25 % of women are comfortable doing it. Its enjoyment factor for most women is the pleasure it gives them to pleasure a man. And then there are some women who love the feeling of power they have over a man when they do oral sex well. This is what I say to men who say they want their partner to do it better I hand them a 6. Instructional Product "dildo" and tell him this is a tool for HIM to demonstrate on to show her the technique he'd like her to use on him. Some men are up to the challenge some not but the majority have no idea of how to create the sensation they say they want.

And might I remind us, "blowing" has nothing to do with this.

In How to Be a Great Lover I cover oral in detail with illustrations.