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My boyfriend takes forever to come when I am giving him head. I feel like I must be doing something wrong because he takes about 5 times longer than my two other boyfriends. I used to really enjoy doing this and now it has become a real chore because my mouth and jaw get soo sore!! I really like this man but I do not feel like I can please him. Any suggestions?

T.G. – Omaha

Lou Answers

Dear T.G:

My first question would be if this man has been celibate or non-sexual with a partner for an extended period of time. Reason being men who have had masturbating as their #1 form of sexual release for a period of time will often require more firm and intense stimulation. Why you might ask? Because they get used to the more intense sensation they can create with their hands and the more subtle sensations of a woman’s vagina or mouth may not be enough unless the woman can increase the intensity by using more of her hand during oral sex or, she uses a position during intercourse that strongly stimulates the head of his penis, or his visual head during penetration, e.g. watching both of you during rear entry style in a mirror.

A couple of suggestions for you that can help to build strong sensation for him and help to build your confidence. The illustration of this technique is in my books How To Be A Great Lover and The Big O.

i) “Attach” your hand to your mouth using your thumb and index finger in a ring around the outside of your lips as if you were going to yell across a field. Your hand must stay attached to your mouth during any contact with his penis otherwise you have to cover your teeth with your lips and create pressure with your jaws and that is when many women get a sore jaw and or wear out the inside of the lips due to the friction and pressure. During oral sex the ring of your finger and thumb plus your hand supplies the pressure and your mouth the moisture and heat.

ii) Remember to use a rotating twisting motion with your hand as you go up and down the shaft and keep the tasebud side of your tongue going in a small side to side motion on the ‘v’ shaped area of the head of his penis, AKA the frenulum. This will stimulate intensely the frenulum area of his penis and that tends to be for many men the most sensitive area particularly if he is circumcised.

Good luck


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